Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode 2 Review


The year is 2010. A number of mediocre to absolutely disgusting console titles have utterly annihilated the reputation of the once beloved blue hedgehog, Sonic. Fans and critics alike treat each new release with more and more vitriol, and look to the second dimension, in which the hedgehog was much better received, for help. The well-received handheld Advance and Rush games, developed by Dimps, had already set a precedent that 2-D Sonic games tend to fare better than the console-based 3-D ones, and thus many believed that a return to 2-D on consoles would save this declining franchise from the trash heap. Thus, SEGA once again outsourced to Dimps and Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode 1, the start of a downloadable throwback series to the original Genesis trilogy, was created…and it received one of the most polarized receptions of any game in the series since Sonic Adventure 2. Most critics liked it, most others thought it was okay, and much of the fanbase treated it with almost as much bile as the despicable Sonic the Hedgehog 2006. To go into detail would make this introduction drag on forever, so I’m just going to use some popular buzzwords: physics, automation, physics, rehashing, and physics. Oh, and green eyes.


Of course, I did review the game back in October of 2010 and, at the time, I freaking loved it. It was the most fun I had had with a console Sonic game in nine years. Of course, after the shock of actually enjoying a Sonic game wore off and I played the game more and more, some of the problems did begin to become more apparent. In particular, the glitchy, inertia-less physics started to bug me more and even aside from that it really couldn’t hold a candle to the classics it was billing itself as a sequel to. That said, I did find myself going back to it a lot and enjoying myself every time, so I’m still happy that I bought it in the end. Now we have Episode 2, for which they promised to take our complaints to heart and make a better game. Did they succeed at doing so or do what Square Enix did earlier this year with Final Fantasy XIII-2 and fail miserably? The answer lies herein.

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Let’s start things off this time by talking about the aesthetics. One thing veterans of Episode 1 will immediately notice is that the game’s visual style has been completely redone, and it looks great. The visuals are a lot more vibrant and colorful and Sonic’s sprite looks considerably better and is a lot more expressive. Environments are made out of a lot more materials than the plastic and cardboard of old. The backgrounds are simply gorgeous as well and there’s usually a lot going on in them. In Oil Desert’s background, for example, you can see the drills and machinery operating and you’ll be able to see the various colorful attractions in the background of White Park. Zones, in general, look very inspired and quite diverse, and they feature some nice set pieces as well. Oh, and rest assured: this game, for the most part, does NOT rehash Zones or enemies from older Sonic games. I can’t say, aside from the enemies, that it’s all-new, as some elements – especially in Sky Fortress - are definitely going to feel familiar, but the Zones feel new enough that I doubt you’ll have a problem with it. Unfortunately, the soundtrack doesn’t fare quite so well.  Many decried the “dying cat” synthesizers of the first episode, and thankfully, they’re gone, but they’ve been replaced by what will come off at first as an obnoxious metallic buzzing, or, in the case of Oil Desert Act 2…quacking ducks. Some tracks may eventually grow on you and there may be some that you’ll love immediately, but there were definitely several, such as the Eggman boss theme and White Park Acts 1 and 2, that I just couldn’t get into.

Now it’s time to discuss the gameplay and before you ask, yes, they did fix the physics and they did a pretty good job at that. All of Sonic’s jumps and other such movements carry inertia just as they should and Sonic can no longer stand upright on walls as if his shoes contain ridiculously powerful magnets. As such, movement feels a great deal better than it did in Episode 1. They still haven’t gotten the rolling mechanic quite down just yet, but eh, it’s a small problem at worst. So, with that said, the Rush and Rivals games aside, if you’ve played a 2-D Sonic game before, you should have a good idea of what to expect from Sonic 4: Episode 2. It’s a platformer based around the fact that Sonic can run really, really fast. There are also Rings to collect so you won’t die, enemies to bounce and homing attack into, springs to bounce off of and everything you associate with Sonic. However, Sonic 4: Episode 2 introduces a new gimmick that you will be making use of a lot in the game.

See, Episode 2 brings Sonic’s sidekick Tails back into gameplay. You won’t be able to control him solo in single player mode, but you will be using him a lot to help Sonic get through the level. Pressing the “Square” button (on PS3) on the ground will cause them both to curl up into an uncontrollable, spinning ball of death that destroys everything in their path, which is useful for clearing otherwise insurmountable obstacles and just annihilating everything. You will have to uncurl from it eventually, however, as you can’t control left or right movement while using this move. Tails’ ability to fly using his two tails also comes into play; press the “Square” button in mid-air and Tails will be able to fly you upwards for a short time, and doing so while underwater will let you use Tails to swim since, as usual, Sonic can’t do it himself. Really, you’d think he’d have taken lessons by now.  Anyway, this is an interesting gimmick that is executed pretty well. You will be using it a lot to find different routes through levels and the level design puts it to some other pretty fun and inventive uses, such as navigating an underwater cave filled with suicidal ice-breathing walruses, as the game goes on.

And that’s another thing that people hoped would see improvement: the level design, and, well…it definitely has in some ways, but some fans will still be disappointed by the overuse of automation. Yes, Episode 1 was criticized for its perceived overuse of springs and speed boosters, which some thought was often unnecessary and made the game feel like it was playing itself at some points. Unfortunately, there’s still plenty of that here. I never actually found this inherently problematic in Episode 1, but honestly, even I’m getting kind of tired of it at this point. Don’t get me wrong; in moderation, just setting the controller down and watching Sonic blast around at high speeds can be pretty satisfying and there are even times where it’s kind of satisfying here, but the problem is that this game just overuses it. Of course, that’s not to say that the level design is bad; there’s still plenty to enjoy here and the automation doesn’t hurt the experience too much – at least for me – but it is disappointing. Actually, there was one level that I thought it kind of worked for, and that was White Park Act 2. Being a level meant to simulate a giant rollercoaster, the use of springs and boosters felt like it fit and there was still some decent platforming here and there. Some fans will find the level to be bland, but personally, I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Anyway, while Episode 2 doesn’t get rid of the automation, its level design does prove to be quite a bit better than Episode 1’s regardless. For one thing, levels tend to be a lot larger, providing a lot more to see and plenty of different ways to get through each stage, which is always a very good thing. Straight-up platforming appears more frequently than in Episode 1 and there is much more creative use of stage-specific gimmicks as well as the previously mentioned team actions. Levels are also very diverse in the challenges they pose, and speaking of challenge, there’s a LOT more of it than in Episode 1. It’s not quite what I’d call a particularly difficult game, but it won’t be a cakewalk either, especially in its second half. Oh, and the game also has a level that features Sonic riding on Tails’ airplane, in the vein of such stages as Sky Chase or Tornado Defense (eh…sort of), and it’s probably the best stage of its kind to appear in the series thus far. And then there are the bosses, which actually impressed me a lot. Okay, the first one is bad – really bad – but beyond that, things improve considerably. The Oil Desert and final bosses, in particular, are some of the most epic, unique and challenging bosses I’ve fought in a Sonic game in a long time – barring Generations of course – and all of the fights against Metal Sonic are really fun. It actually surprised me how good the boss design was; you can really tell that Dimps got on their A-game here…after the first one. Honestly, it confuses me how that one turned out so ridiculously easy and boring, especially considering how awesome it looks. But I digress.
The other ones are awesome, it's just...this one. How.

And then there are the special stages, which are reminiscent of Sonic Rush’s special stages, which means that they’re reminiscent of Sonic 2’s special stages, which have been recycled by the franchise a number of times now.  Sonic 4: Episode 2 unfortunately doesn’t even go as far as Sonic Heroes or Colors DS did to cover this up; you’re just running forward through a half-pipe, collecting Rings and dodging obstacles. Don’t get me wrong; the stage is still plenty fun and does add a couple of new twists, and the last few are pretty dang tough. It’s just that the Sonic 2 special stage is getting kind of old at this point, and it’s about time for them to come up with a new one. And if not that, then they really need to give the Blue Sphere special stages from Sonic 3 & Knuckles a nod. Those were the best in the whole freakin’ series.

Sonic 4: Episode 2 allows you to play co-op with a friend, either locally or online, in which one player takes control of Sonic and one takes control of Tails. I’m not much of a co-op guy myself, but I did try it out, and it seems to work pretty well. The one thing I found fault with was that both players share one Ring counter, basically meaning that if one player gets hit, neither player will have any Rings. Honestly, I think that it would have worked better if they either had separate Ring counters or only half of the collected Rings were lost if one of them took a hit. Regardless, because of this, you will want to play co-op with someone as skilled as you are, and also because it’s easy to outrun other players thanks to how fast the game moves.

One more thing: if you own both Episodes 1 and 2 on the same console, you will actually have access to a free bonus episode called “Episode Metal”, in which you play as Metal Sonic through four levels from Episode 1 in a story that bridges the gap between Episodes 1 and 2, and the four levels feature different designs from their original incarnations. Unfortunately, since I bought Episode 1 on Wii, which Episode 2 is not available for, I probably won’t be playing it anytime soon. I can’t say it’s not cool that they did that, though.

The Good:
+ Great graphics 
+ Greatly improved physics 
+ Team gimmick works well 
+ Generally solid level design 
+ Co-op is good 
+ Free bonus episode if you own both main episodes on one console 
+ Great boss fights…

The Bad:
- …Except for the first 
- Too much automation 
- Hit or miss soundtrack 
- Sonic 2-style special stages are getting old
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So how does Episode 2 fare when compared to the classics? Well, I’m afraid Dimps still has a ways to go before they can reach that standard of quality. Sonic 2 and 3 & Knuckles are, after all, some of the greatest 2-D platformers ever made, though, personally, I don’t think Sonic 4 will ever get that good no matter how many episodes it gets. In its own right, though, Sonic 4: Episode 2 is a very enjoyable 2-D platformer despite the flaws and it’s a significant improvement over Episode 1. I personally found it to be worth the money I paid for it, and you just might, too. Until next time, adios.

Grade: B

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Kingdom Hearts 10th Anniversary Reviews: Birth by Sleep


---------My Rating System--------

A(-)(+) A top notch experience all the way through. It may not necessarily be perfect, but whatever flaws it does have won’t take you out of it or make it any less worth your time. (Super Mario Galaxy 1 and 2)
B(-)(+) A very fun experience bogged down by some significant problems, whether they’re related to the story, gameplay, or both. However, it’s still a good game and worth the price of admission. (Kingdom Hearts: Recoded)
C(-)(+) A mixed bag.  Generally fun to some extent and may shine in some areas, but is either too flawed to fully recommend or far too short for its price. Conisder it for a reduced price, at least if you’re a fan of its genre. (Rayman 3D)
D(-)(+)  Subpar. It may not be terrible, but it is severely flawed and whatever it does well ultimately fails to save it. Even if you’re a fan of the genre, this is barely a bargain bin purchase.  (Sonic Heroes)
F Insipid, disgusting, despicable, and insufferable. It is a scar on the face of human accomplishments that time shall never heal. The best thing we can do is avoid playing it at all costs. It is the only way to prevent its parasitic disease of awfulness from spreading. (Shadow the Hedgehog)
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This is it, folks. We have finally reached the last stop on our epic journey through the wonderful world of Kingdom Hearts…at least for the next few months. And what a great one we have today. Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep is an installment for the PSP, and is the second most recent game in the series (behind Re:coded), which came out in 2010. It serves as a prequel to the series, starring three new characters rather than Sora and company and its story is meant to provide a lot of revelations that connect to events in future games (chronologically) and will have an effect on events in the upcoming sequels. I actually don’t remember being all too excited for this one, and I’m not quite sure why. Of course, the fact that it was on the PSP may have had something to do with it. It kind of told me that it would likely be a smaller scale adventure than the two PS2 games. Not to mention, I didn’t own a PSP when it was announced, and even when I did get one, it was a used one that hardly worked and wouldn’t take the update needed to play games released after 2009. And, of course, I’m sure being massively disappointed by 358/2 Days, which came out just a year prior, didn’t help much either. Fortunately, I did get a Slim n’ Lite along with the game a couple of Christmases ago, and it not only exceeded my expectations, but it thoroughly blew them away. Ladies and gentlemen, Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep is quite possibly not only the best game in the series thus far, but my current favorite RPG. The statement may sound fanboyish, and, well, maybe it is a little bit, but I do have my reasons for placing this game on such a high pedestal. Let’s take a look.
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The story of Birth by Sleep is seen from the perspectives of three different Keyblade wielders: Ventus – who notably looks a great deal like Roxas - Terra and Aqua, three great friends. All three of them train under Master Eraqus to eventually pass the Mark of Mastery exam and officially become Keyblade Masters, whose job it is to protect the worlds from the forces of darkness. Shortly after the game begins, Aqua and Terra take the exam. Aqua passes with flying colors, but Terra unfortunately falls short, as he can’t quite keep the darkness in his heart in check. For those who are not already familiar with the series, in the Kingdom Hearts universe, darkness is a force that lies in the hearts of all human beings and those who attempt to control it or use it for power are usually either consumed by it or turn evil. Xehanort, a fellow Keyblade Master, insists that darkness is not an inherently negative force and that light and dark should exist in balance. Going against Master Eraqus’s teachings, he encourages Terra to use and control the power of darkness, and this conflict is a central focus of Terra’s storyline. Ventus, or Ven for short, finds himself chasing after Terra after he is visited by a mysterious boy in a mask named Vanitas, who tells him that he will never see Terra again. However, Ventus is not meant to leave the Land of Departure (the opening world) and Eraqus sends Aqua after him. Of course, our heroes have another reason to be flying around the universe. All throughout the worlds, dark creatures called Unversed are popping up that are proving to be a grave threat, and Aqua and Terra are tasked with exterminating them.
From left to right: Aqua, Terra and Ventus.
You may have noticed that throughout my Kingdom Hearts reviews, I have actually given a lot of emphasis and praise to the games’ storylines. It’s actually pretty strange that a series that started as just a giant crossover between Disney and Final Fantasy could end up having such a compelling story and mythology on its own, and Birth by Sleep, more so than any other game in the series (with the possible exception of Chain of Memories), stands proudly alongside Kid Icarus: Uprising as an example of how you can find very complex and engaging stories in odd places. ...Okay, I guess I will admit that the script is a bit hit or miss with this one. It works for the most part, but there are a disconcerting number of moments where it devolves into cheese and, like with Riku’s story in Re:Chain of Memories, they really need to shut up about the “darkness”. Even for a huge fan like me, hearing them talk about the “darkness” all the time eventually gets kind of annoying and lines like “Has the DARKNESS taken YOU, TERRA?!” are just cringe worthy. Aside from that, though, this story is awesome. I didn’t like Ventus, Terra and Aqua quite as much as Sora and co., but they’re still great characters and you really feel like there’s a significant bond between them. Voice acting is mostly superb, as usual, and the cast includes such names as Leonard Nemoy, who does the voice of Master Xehanort; Mark Hamill, who does the voice of Master Eraqus; Haley Joel Osment, who does the voice of Vanitas and previously did the voice of Sora; and Jesse McCartney, who does the voice of Ventus and previously did the voice of Roxas. However, Terra’s voice actor, Jason Dohring…wasn’t so good, I hate to say. He’s okay for the most part, but there were a lot of times where he just sounded bored.

The game also adopts a Sonic Adventure approach to telling its story, as each character has his or her own playable storyline and your understanding of the events of each of them the first time through will depend on the order you played them in. The stories of the Disney worlds also all play out across all three of the storylines, which is another thing I found interesting. There is even a “Final Episode”, which you unlock by beating all three of the other storylines and finding all twelve of the secret readable reports written by Xehanort. Oh, I’m actually surprised I didn’t mention this already in any of the other reviews, so my bad. Basically, in this game as well as Kingdom Hearts I and II, you can find reports – written by a guy named Ansem in KH1 and 2 and Xehanort in this game. They chronicle the various musings and thoughts of these characters as well as the research they’ve done and experiments they’ve performed regarding objects of interest. They actually give a lot of background to the stories of these games and the motivations of these characters, and clear up what may otherwise have been some pretty significant plot holes. They’re really interesting to read and are a shining example of how much effort the writers put into the storyline and continuity of this series.

The plot of Birth by Sleep, in general, is possibly the most interesting and engaging in the series thus far. Also, it’s actually pretty unique as a prequel in that, while it takes place before the first game in the series, it leaves some loose ends for future sequels to resolve. And while the fact that it’s a prequel makes it more accessible to series newcomers, some scenes and elements and even appearances by minor characters are going to mean the most to series oldbies. Thus, I still recommend newcomers start with the original Kingdom Hearts and play in order of release date. If you don’t care, though, starting with Birth by Sleep could be a very interesting experience that will change your entire understanding of the events of the next chronological installments.

Birth by Sleep is highly impressive on the visual front, especially given the system that it’s on. Seriously, these graphics are almost on par with those of the PS2 games, especially when it comes to character models and animations. I’d probably even call it one of the best-looking games for PSP. This high visual quality does come with a few unfortunate strings attached, but Square did provide some easy remedies. Loading times are long and frequent, but you can get rid of this problem by installing the game onto your PSP, an option you are given before you start the game. The framerate also suffers quite a bit, but the CPU speed can be bumped up to get rid of this problem at the expense of some of the PSP’s battery life. Personally, I thought the trade-off was worth it. The soundtrack is all-new this time around (minus a few tracks), since the game uses all-new worlds, and it’s…possibly the best one Yoko Shimomura has composed yet. For the record, that’s saying a lot. New music has also been composed for the cutscenes of the game, and those are probably my favorite tracks of the bunch. The track that played during one scene was so sad that I actually empathized with Cinderella. Think about that. When it comes to world BGM’s, my favorite track would have to be that of the final world, which sets a dark tone and atmosphere the likes of which I doubt I’ve seen in the series before.

Moving on now, Birth by Sleep is considered a main game in the series and thus, as mentioned before, it gives us a selection of new Disney worlds, and a pretty diverse one at that. Movies represented this time around include such classics as Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, and Peter Pan as well as the more recent Lilo & Stitch…well, the first ten or so minutes of it, anyway. Peter Pan was represented in the series before, but the world seen here is nothing like that of the first game or 358/2 Days. The only world that really makes a return is Olympus Coliseum, based on Hercules, but the fighting tournament-style mini-game is still fun, so I’ll forgive them. Oh, and it has Zack Fair from Final Fantasy VII and Crisis Core in it. Yeah, I hope you like him, because that’s the only Final Fantasy cameo in the game.

Considering that the game is on less powerful hardware, it should go without saying that the worlds will be quite a bit smaller than what was seen on the PS2. That said, I think they did a great job with what they had. There are still plenty of treasures and such to find and the worlds feel very diverse, usually offering their own challenges for each character and even some neat gimmicks. Disney Town, for instance, is the designated mini-game world and the world based on Lilo & Stitch allows you to turn off the gravity in some areas and soar to massive heights with each jump, which is used for platforming. Speaking of which, I mentioned in my review of the first game that some people seem to have a problem with the platforming elements of the series. I’ve never minded them myself; in fact, I actually found the platforming of Birth by Sleep to be pretty enjoyable. It’s nothing amazing, but it offers some fun ideas, if nothing else. All three characters will be visiting the same worlds throughout the game, but they all have different challenges to overcome and bosses to fight and you will see different parts of the world’s storyline depending on which character you’re controlling. The fact that each character feels different to control and has his or her own specialties also helps to keep things from feeling redundant. Ven is the balanced fighter, Terra is great with physical attacks, and Aqua is skilled with magic, which will likely influence how you choose to develop each character.

This brings me to where things get really, really awesome: the combat system, and if you ever thought that previous games were too focused on button mashing, consider your prayers thoroughly answered! See, this game replaces the abilities of Kingdom Hearts I and II with a Command Deck, whose capacity increases as you continue through the game. You fill this deck with the abilities you receive over the course of the game, and use them via the triangle button after they have charged up. You get better commands as you go through the game or make them yourself (more on that later), and the commands you do have will level up as you go along. As you attack enemies, a bar will fill up above the Command Deck. You have upgradeable finishers that you can use, but depending on which commands you used to fight – elemental magic, for example – you could enter a Command Style, such as Diamond Dust, Firestorm or Lightning Bolt. Some Command Styles are also specific to each character, i.e. Ventus’s Fever Pitch, Terra’s Critical Impact and Aqua’s Spell Weaver. Using different commands during a Command Style could allow you to use other ones if you have them unlocked, such as Blade Charge, which turns your Keyblade into a giant glowing sword. These Command Styles not only augment your attack power or add elemental attributes to it, but also make your attacks lightning fast and really awesome to watch. It is worth noting, however, that you can’t abuse commands, as each command will need some time to charge up before you can use it again. See, it’s through this system that Birth by Sleep accomplishes the same fast-paced, flashy and fun combat that Kingdom Hearts II had while adding leagues of depth and strategy to it, and it works incredibly well.

That’s not even getting into just how customizable it is. You are given full control over what commands you have in your deck at all times, limited only by which ones you have collected in the game. Some commands actually come with other abilities attached to them, such as adding onto your default combo, and if that command levels up all the way, that ability is yours to keep. And then there’s the Meld Command option, which allows you to combine two commands to make a brand new one. Experimenting with this is a great way to get new abilities out of unwanted of Commands, and can also allow you to get better spells early on in the game. You won’t always know what you’re getting, so there may be risk involved if you’re wagering a good command, but who knows? You might get something really useful out of it. Sometimes, you can even combine magic spells with physical attacks to make an elemental version of said physical attack or a version that induces a status effect. Essentially, ability-wise you are given a lot of control over how your character develops, which just adds even more depth to what may be my favorite combat system in any RPG that I’ve played.

One more thing. I criticized the boss design of Kingdom Hearts II for being too easy and lackluster. So, does Birth by Sleep improve upon that as well? As a matter of fact, it does. A lot. In fact, if you’re playing on Proud Mode, a lot of these bosses are…pretty brutal, honestly, and some of them will easily one-shot you if you’re not at the right level. Heck, there are some that I remember having a lot of trouble with the first time through on Standard Mode. Oh, and Proud Mode isn’t even the highest difficulty level. That would be Critical Mode. It downright scares me to think about how hard that might be. All in all, bosses in Birth by Sleep are really difficult and a lot of fun to fight.

The Good:

+ Awesome story 
+ Great visuals 
+ Soundtrack is the best yet 
+ Three playable storylines 
+ New Disney worlds 
+ Lots of diversity 
+ Solid platforming elements 
+ Amazing combat system 
+ More customizable than ever 
+ Great boss battles 
+ Great voice acting…

The Bad:

- …Except for Terra 
- Sometimes cheesy script

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After the disappointing Days, this game was just what I needed. It had just about everything I loved about the PS2 games and more, and my appreciation of it has grown even more after playing it again. This may very well be the most fun I’ve ever had with an RPG combat system, and the story, despite the problems I had with the script, is awesome, as usual. If you have a PSP, you owe it to yourself to play it. I’m giving it the same grade as Kingdom Hearts II because I can’t really give it an A+ and there are some things I believe Kingdom Hearts II does a bit better. However, overall, I do believe it to be a better game. It’s the best game in the series, possibly one of the best games for PSP, my current favorite RPG, and one of my favorite games in general.

Grade: A

And thus our journey through the Kingdom Hearts series finally comes to an end, at least for the moment. There is one more game in the series, Kingdom Hearts Re:coded, but I already reviewed it. If you want the short version, though, it has a pretty weak story, but it provides its own fun take on Birth by Sleep’s gameplay style and has a great deal of gameplay variety, which makes it a very fun little side game that’s worth picking up.

Playing through these games again was a really great experience for me. Few game series have left the kind of impact on me that Kingdom Hearts has. When I was just seven years old, the first game showed me just how well a game could tell a story, and Chain of Memories and Kingdom Hearts II continued to do so later on. Even 358/2 Days, which I was very close to giving a negative grade before the end, gave me a very nice and even heartbreaking storyline. (ba dum tssh) Dream Drop Distance is coming to the States soon, and it looks like another awesome installment to the series. As for my next review, that will probably be for Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode 2, which hits PSN this Tuesday and XBLA on Wednesday. Farewell for now.
Cue credits sequence.


Saturday, May 5, 2012

Kingdom Hearts 10th Anniversary Reviews: 358/2 Days

So it is finally time to once again discuss the (mostly) wonderful Kingdom Hearts series. Yes, sorry that this took me so long to put out. See, the Kingdom Hearts game we’re discussing today is 358/2 Days, and, well, spoiler alert, I don’t like this game very much. I began this Kingdom Hearts extravaganza with the knowledge that I would eventually have to tackle this monstrosity (which I had never actually beaten before), but I had no idea that it would be this…difficult. Anyway, Kingdom Hearts: 358/2 Days is the first of two DS installments – the other being Re:coded, which I reviewed last February – and is a mission-based game that focuses on the character Roxas, introduced in Kingdom Hearts II, during his 358 days among the awesome black-cloaked group of villains known as Organization XIII. I’m all for that and there are definitely some things that this game gets right, but in the end, it proves to be the lowest point in the series’ history. Let’s delve into the game, why don’t we. 


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358/2 Days takes place before, during and after Chain of Memories and before Kingdom Hearts II. As I said before, it focuses on Roxas, at this point a newly-born Nobody (an empty shell with no heart) who has the power to use the Keyblade. He is inducted into Organization XIII, the group of powerful Nobodies introduced through Chain of Memories and Kingdom Hearts II, and soon after he joins, a new member named Xion steps in, whom also happens to be a Keyblade master. Roxas then begins going out on missions with Xion and the other members of Organization XIII and concluding every mission by having ice cream with her and Axel, a fellow member. As he does this, he learns more about himself, the world, his purpose, the Organization and, of course, friendship, until crap inevitably hits the fan toward the end and Kingdom Hearts II begins. 
From left to right: Axel, Roxas and Xion.


The storyline is probably the only thing I seriously enjoyed about Days. Roxas and Axel were already established characters, but the game does a very nice job of developing them further. Xion actually steals the show here, partially for reasons that are a bit spoiler-y, so I won’t say much other than that she’s a great character. I always enjoyed seeing the three of them interact and I was emotionally invested in the story by the end, where things really start happening. The game is also separated into short days, as the game is basically about how Roxas lives and works day to day. I thought this was an interesting approach to telling the story that was handled well. The script is also solid this time around, and the voice acting, while there isn’t very much of it, is very well done. In the end, the story is probably the only reason why you might want to play the game. 


Yes, while the story is very good, the gameplay ultimately proves…very lackluster, which is why I advise you approach this one with caution. Well, before I start ripping this game to shreds, I should say that there is one thing I liked, and that was the character customization system. As you complete more and more missions, you gain slots on which you put “Panels”. These Panels contain your weapons, abilities, items, magic, and upgrades thereof. There are some Panels (mostly weapon and ability Panels) that take up extra spaces that could be used for other Panels; however, said Panels can often be linked to Panels that upgrade said weapon or ability, and some offer other effects such as upgrading your magic spells or doubling your experience levels. Overall, it’s a very strategic system that works very well. 


Beyond that, though, Days…has absolutely nothing of value to offer, gameplay-wise. One could argue that combat in Kingdom Hearts I and II was mostly button mashing, yes, but at least you could still use magic and other such moves to mix things up a bit and, in Kingdom Hearts II’s case, you probably wouldn’t care anyway because of how fast, flashy and satisfying the combat was. In Days, combat is just button mashing, and combat feels much slower-paced at that, which sucks a lot of the fun out of it and replaces it with boredom. You can still use magic, but you’ll barely ever use it because the game makes one of the most idiotic design decisions I’ve ever seen. By that, I mean that it puts a limit on how many casts of each spell you can bring with you into each mission, and if you want to take any abilities or items with you, you’re probably not going to be able to take too many spells. Even aside from that it’s very limiting, as there isn’t a terrible amount of different combos and moves at your disposal and the Reaction Command from KH2 is nowhere to be seen. Enemy variety isn’t exactly this game’s strong suit, either; most enemies are actually just recolors of other enemies you’ve fought, and they’re all fought the same way: mashing the “A” button over and over and over again until you get carpal tunnel syndrome. It gets incredibly repetitive and boring very quickly, and I really don’t see why the combat had to be so much worse than Kingdom Hearts II’s. You can’t really say it’s because it’s on the DS because Re:coded was for the DS, too, and its combat wasn’t significantly worse than that of the PS2 games. I just…don’t know what happened here. 


And there are the bosses, which pretty much suffer from the same problem, except it’s magnified here because boss battles drag on for so long. Their health bars are inhumanely high and from my experience you don’t even do that much damage. It’s basically ten to fifteen minutes or even longer of jump, mash the “A” button, fall, rinse, repeat. Maybe you’ll have to chase the boss around the arena, too, which…isn’t fun in the least. Also, there were at least two bosses in the game that almost made me consider giving up and watching the rest of the story in a playthrough on Youtube. The first was the Leechgrave, which was downright cheap. It had no visible pattern for its attacks, one of which was a scratching attack that would do devastating damage if you got close. Well, guess what? You have to get close to attack! Oh, and it has a poison attack that drains your health. Have fun! The second was the Ruler of the Sky. For one thing, many of its attacks have a far larger hit box than they should have. For another, it reminds me of that stupid last room in Final Fantasy X because locking onto it gives you a nauseating rotating camera since it’s always moving and there are actually icicles sprouting from the water below to stop you dead in your tracks. It’s so similar that it’s almost scary. At least this game lets you skip cutscenes… 


Finally, the missions are incredibly repetitive. Even when they pretend like they’re asking you to do different things, they really all boil down to just killing Heartless, or mashing the “A” button repeatedly, in other words. You visit the same worlds over and over again dozens of times, as well. Exploration isn’t very interesting, either; the worlds are very small and certain areas are closed off during different missions, and these are all the same worlds from the first two main games besides. To Days’ credit, there are times when it attempts to change things up, but it doesn’t really work. Halloween Town forces you to use Jack Skellington’s dog Zero to scout out Heartless by giving him treats, which just makes things more tedious, and Olympus Coliseum once again takes place in fighting tournaments and mini-games that…just aren’t fun here. Oh, and there are also some insultingly easy stealth sequences and puzzles sprinkled here and there. 


When it comes to aesthetics, though, Days doesn’t fail to please. Given the system it’s on, Square did about the best they could with the visuals, and, well, they’re not half-bad and the framerate is very good. The soundtrack is also fantastic, as always, though it’s…mostly just the exact same BGM’s from the two main games, along with Sanctuary from Kingdom Hearts II. As for the new tracks that are here, though, expect Yoko Shimomura’s usual magic.


 The Good: 
+ Great storyline 
+ Solid script and voice acting 
+ Nice customization system 
+ Great visuals 
+ Awesome soundtrack 


 The Bad:
- Boring combat 
- Awful boss battles 
- Incredibly repetitive 


 --------------------------------- 


 By the end of 358/2 Days, I was a little happy that I had experienced it if only because of the story, so I really can’t call it a bad game. However, the gameplay experience was…pretty agonizing, to be frank, so I can’t quite call it a good one either. Ultimately, I’d say it’s…a mediocre game. I guess it’s kind of worth playing, but don’t pay too much for it. Fortunately, this doesn’t hint at a trend in the quality of games to come. Next time, we’re looking at the fantastic Birth by Sleep, the last game on our list until I can get my hands on Dream Drop Distance. See ya. 


 Grade: C-

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Kid Icarus: Uprising Review


Ah, yes. I stated in my Sonic 06 review that this would be coming soon, and, well, here it is. Anyway, Kid Icarus Uprising was one of the first games announced for the 3DS at E3 2010. It quickly became one of the most highly anticipated games of the 3DS’ line-up, partially because it was the first Kid Icarus game in around twenty years and partially because it actually looked really good. I, myself, had never played either of the two Kid Icarus games beforehand, but that doesn’t really matter considering Uprising is probably almost nothing like them. Of course, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, Kid Icarus: Uprising is not only the best game to come out on 3DS thus far, but probably even…one of my favorite games in general, at least at the moment. Let us not dawdle any longer; this is the masterpiece known as Kid Icarus Uprising.

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Kid Icarus: Uprising stars Pit, the right-hand man of the Goddess of Light Palutena. The evil Medusa has returned after her defeat in the original game, and with a whole slew of Underworld forces at her command. As such, Pit and Palutena once again find themselves in a gigantic war between light and dark. Proving a bit of a hindrance is the fact that Pit actually can’t fly on his own and must rely on the Goddess Palutena to do so, and even then the Power of Flight only lasts five minutes. Also, further complicating things is that a dark doppelganger of Pit known as Dark Pit is running amok after Pit accidentally created him in the process of destroying the Mirror of Truth, a mirror that was being used to create more and more Underworld forces. And as Pit and Palutena will soon find out, there’s more to Medusa’s return than they may be taking for granted.

The storyline of Uprising is actually really good. It will come off as simple at first, but as the game goes on it becomes really interesting and even surprisingly complex. The game doesn’t take itself too seriously, either. While the plot has its more serious elements and moments, the tone of the game remains very lighthearted and fun. Also, the writing of this game is actually really funny. Not only is it just generally humorous, but it’s incredibly self-aware to the point that there is no fourth wall whatsoever and there are also a lot of great references to other Nintendo games and franchises. The voice acting is really good, too, and characterization is very strong. The main cast is very likable and even the one-off villains are very well-written and enjoyable. In addition, most of the dialogue and story will actually take place during the gameplay, a choice which suits the game very well, as you will see when you play the game.

Uprising is also great in the aesthetics department. The orchestral soundtrack is simply fantastic and as one of the first games announced for the 3DS at E3, it did a great job of showing off what the handheld could do visually and still does and the 3-D effect, while not as good as, say, Super Mario 3D Land, is pretty nice. The wow factor of this game’s visuals actually comes less from the environments and more from the setpieces. The on-rails sections, in particular, have a great deal of amazing setpieces that really do a fantastic job of keeping things exciting and interesting.


Which brings me to the gameplay, and essentially, Kid Icarus Uprising can be thought of as Star Fox Assault if it was actually really amazing. The game features both rail-shooting sequences and ground combat sequences and while both play styles are pretty different from each other, the controls remain similar enough that switching between them isn’t jarring at all. The default control scheme has you using the Circle Pad to move, the stylus to aim the reticle and the “L” button to fire your weapon or perform a melee attack if you’re close to an enemy. During ground combat, you also slide the stylus along the screen to change the camera angle and you can tap the Circle Pad twice in any direction to dash, much like in Super Smash Bros., as is pointed out in the tutorial. If you tap the Circle Pad twice just as an enemy attack is about to hit you, you will do a dodge. There’s a slight learning curve, but once you get used to the controls, they work great, being very precise and responsive and allowing you to keep up with the game’s fast-paced action.

And there will be a crapload of that, rest assured. The fast-paced, over-the-top action of Uprising on top of the solid mechanics and controls are really what make it an amazingly fun experience. The rail-shooting sections are absolute mindless fun and, as I said before, the setpieces are amazing. This game seriously makes Star Fox 64 look dull. I'm not even exaggerating. Just try to go back to Star Fox 64 after playing this game; it will feel dated by light years. The ground combat sections aren’t quite as fast-paced, but are just as much fun because they have more to offer. The areas feature a great deal of variety in the challenges they pose and vehicle and rail-grinding segments do a very good job of changing things up when they appear. Boss battles are also superbly designed and feature a lot of variety. In short, really, really amazing stuff.

One really interesting thing about Uprising is the fully controllable difficulty level. It’s actually sort of a high risk, high reward type deal. As you defeat enemies, you gain Hearts, which are basically money. You use these Hearts to buy weapons and such, and unwanted weapons can even be converted to Hearts. So, how does this apply to the game’s difficulty level? Well, every time you start a chapter, you’re allowed to adjust the Intensity, or difficulty level. Raising it and even lowering it beyond a certain point is going to require more and more Hearts. Playing chapters on higher Intensities will get you better treasures and rewards and there also Intensity Gates in the levels, which you can only open if you’re playing on a certain Intensity or higher. Behind these gates are usually really good treasures. Difficulty still does curve naturally, but what will ultimately affect your experience the most is the Intensity you’re playing on. If you die, however, you will not only lose some of the Hearts that you bet, but the difficulty will also be knocked down a bit. It is a really nice idea that adds a great deal of replay value to the game and gives you a lot of incentive to improve your skills.


Oh yes! There is one more thing that needs to be covered! With Kid Icarus: Uprising, Nintendo decided to not be lazy and gave the game online multiplayer! And the online multiplayer is not only un-sucky, but it's really fun and addictive! There are two modes – free-for-all and Light vs. Dark. Free-for-all is just what you would expect: a gigantic brawl between several players. In Light vs. Dark, players are organized into a light team and a dark team and have to duke it out. Every time a player is killed, that player’s team’s gauge decreases. When said gauge is decreased all the way, a team angel will appear, and the first team to kill a team angel is the winner. You can use the weapons and upgrades you get in the single player mode in the multiplayer mode and vice versa. Overall, it’s a very fun multiplayer mode that almost makes me not care that Star Fox 64 3D didn’t have online multiplayer. Almost.


Still not letting it go.


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Kid Icarus: Uprising is…wow. I didn’t actually expect this much from it, but it thoroughly blew me away. Even the story was really good, and it’s surprisingly long, too. It’s surpassed Super Mario 3D Land as the best 3DS game, and I would honestly put it up there with my favorite games of all time. It is a legitimately amazing game and I can’t really think of any real complaints I had with it. If you own a 3DS, you have no excuse not to get this game.


*sigh* Well, I guess it's time to stop being lazy and get to work on 358/2 Days.


Grade: A+

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

My Games That Suck: Sonic the Hedgehog 2006

-------My Rating System-------

A(-)(+) A top notch experience all the way through. It may not necessarily be perfect, but whatever flaws it does have won’t take you out of it or make it any less worth your time. (Super Mario Galaxy 1 and 2)

B(-)(+) A very fun experience bogged down by some significant problems, whether they’re related to the story, gameplay, or both. However, it’s still a good or even great game and worth the price of admission. (Kingdom Hearts: Recoded)

C(-)(+) A mixed bag. Generally fun to some extent and may shine in some areas, but is either too flawed to fully recommend or far too short for its price. Conisder it for a reduced price, at least if you’re a fan of its genre. (Rayman 3D)

D(-)(+) Subpar. It may not be terrible, but it is severely flawed and whatever it does well ultimately fails to save it. Even if you’re a fan of the genre, this is barely a bargain bin purchase. (Sonic Heroes)

F Insipid, disgusting, despicable, and insufferable. It is a scar on the face of human accomplishments that time shall never heal. The best thing we can do is avoid playing it at all costs. It is the only way to prevent its parasitic disease of awfulness from spreading. (Shadow the Hedgehog)

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Ah, yes, Kid Icarus Uprising. Kid Icarus Uprising was one of the first games announced for the 3DS at E3 2010. It quickly became one of the most highly anticipated games of the 3DS’ line-up, partially because it was the first Kid Icarus game in around twenty years and partially because it actually looked really good. I, myself, had never played either of the two Kid Icarus games beforehand, but that doesn’t really matter considering Uprising is probably almost nothing like them. Of course, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, Kid Icarus Uprising is not only the best game to come out on 3DS thus far, but probably even…one of my favorite games of all ti-

You know what? Pretty much every one of my reviews is like this. Lots of A’s and a handful of B’s. There have only been two or three average reviews on this blog and only one negative review – two if you count my pre-emptive strike on Final Fantasy XIII-2. I think it’s time for that to change. Thus begins My Games That Suck: reviews of various games that I have amassed in my extensive library that, well, suck. I don’t know how often I’ll do it, but it needs to be done. Because sometimes, even I would rather have a buffalo take a diarrhea dump in my ear. Though the Uprising review is coming soon, I believe I should first do this. And boy, do I have a special one for us today. I wanted to avoid reviewing this one, to avoid experiencing this abomination again. I even stated in my Sonic Heroes review that I wouldn’t do it. But alas, I knew I couldn’t avoid this fate forever. This was a game that was begging for a thrashing and though it’s been done a million times before, it deserves to happen again, and this time by my hand. Ladies and gentleman, I proudly present to you my review of Sonic the Hedgehog 2006.



Good Lord, even looking at the box makes me cringe.

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*sigh* Well, I suppose I should begin by describing the incomprehensible, horribly written mess this game calls its “story”. Princess Elise is the ruler of a nation known as Soleanna. One day, during a festival celebrating…something…she is attacked by Dr. Eggman, who has somehow become horribly disfigured since the last game. Either that or it’s an incredibly poor attempt at making him fit in with the “realistic” setting of the game …Yeah, it’s the latter.


Why.
So Eggman states that he has come for the Flames of Disaster and the blue Chaos Emerald, which she somehow has kept with her since childhood despite the fact that Sonic and friends have used it on numerous occasions. Speaking of which, Sonic immediately swoops in to save the day. Unfortunately, he is briefly distracted by Eggman’s robots, which causes Elise to get captured immediately after being saved. Then he rescues her again, and they start to develop a…*shudder*…romance. Oh, but things get a bit more complicated when Silver, a hedgehog with psychic powers, steps in. See, Silver comes from a totally not clichéd post-apocalyptic wasteland in which a demon named Iblis has destroyed everything. Silver has been fooled by this shadowy (no pun intended) guy named Mephiles into thinking that Sonic is the “Iblis Trigger”, or the one who would release Iblis. Mephiles himself was trapped in a Scepter of Darkness before he was accidentally released by Shadow, whose form he takes. Oh, and he really hates Shadow, too. And he can time travel for some reason. Whilst fighting Silver, Sonic loses Elise – again – and must go to Eggman’s base to save her – again. When Sonic and friends finally reach Eggman’s base, Eggman uses his latest invention to send them forward through time to Silver’s horrible post-apocalyptic future, where they meet up with Shadow and Rouge, who had been put there by Mephiles. And then more stuff happens.
Our main villain, folks. He makes Maester Seymour from Final Fantasy X look not-ridiculous.
I could write an entire book on the incredibly numerous massive, gaping plot holes that this story falls into, but even without those, this plot is just bad. For one thing, Elise is a human that falls in love with Sonic, who is an animal. At one point, Elise even kisses Sonic. This is horrible. This is despicable. This is disgusting. This is a bad idea. It doesn’t help that the romance receives no development whatsoever and that Elise is a character that makes toast seem interesting. Silver is a similarly awful character. In fact, Silver kind of reminds me of a really bad fancharacter made by a 12-year-old. He’s just as bland as Elise, his design is one of the dumbest I’ve ever seen – ever – and his back story is a pretty blatant ripoff of that of Trunks from Dragon Ball Z. Characterization in general is crap; even our cocky blue hero isn’t interesting or enjoyable in the least. The plot, as a whole, is needlessly convoluted for a game about a talking blue hedgehog, relies on Princess Elise getting captured far too much and features writing that makes Stephanie Meyer’s work look masterful on top of some of the absolute worst voice acting you will ever hear in your life.

This is Silver. He makes Cloud Strife look normal.

And then we get to the aesthetics, and while Sonic 06 sucks less here than in other areas, it’s still pretty sucky. The hub worlds look incredibly bland and the in-game character models are terrible. Their heads look glued on to their bodies and their arms and legs are ridiculously long and thin, which makes them look even more awkward. The game also decided to populate its world with “realistic” humans, though they’re less “realistic” and more “soul-devouring abominations”. The stage environments look okay, I suppose, but up close, a lot of the textures are really blurry. The CGI animated FMV sequences actually look very nice – aside from Princess Elise, who looks like a zombie in pretty much all of them. However, when you watch the other cutscenes, it begins to look like they blew the entire budget on the FMV’s. In-engine cutscenes look simply awful. The characters move like puppets and facial animations look like crap. They hardly show any emotion whatsoever, giving them all this really creepy, zombie-like stare, and lip-syncing wasn’t even attempted. Visual effects, especially “slow motion” moments, are also laughably bad. Oh, and if there’s one aspect of Sonic games whose quality generally remains constant, it’s the soundtrack, but honestly…I don’t even like Sonic 06’s soundtrack that much. I mean, it’s not bad – well, aside from the vocal tracks – but it doesn’t really do much for me either.



And now it’s time to talk about the gameplay, and let me start by saying that this game is broken. Not unpolished, not unrefined, but broken. Scripting is horribly done. If you go into some scripted areas too far to the left or right, you can actually end up dying or getting hurt. Some of them require you to hold the control stick forward, or else you will fall. You can go back to areas featuring scripted events or even jump over any dash pads that initiate scripted events and watch as your character magically defies gravity by walking up loops or walls. Sometimes, characters won’t be able to jump off of rails, you can do light dashes backwards, or the homing attack can stop in mid-air. Collision detection flaws abound, and the physics are simply disgusting. You can stand upright on the sides of things, objects sometimes behave erratically when destroyed and the jump is ridiculously slow and floaty and kills all momentum. At higher speeds, controls become fatally twitchy, making it all too easy to find yourself careening into walls or even a deadly abyss. The camera is bad, as usual, and expect to be spending almost as much time staring at loading screens as you will playing the game. Loading screens occur with remarkable frequency and last a very long time. Simply inexcusable. Oh, and don’t expect a serviceable framerate, either. Of course, none of that is getting into how the game plays. There are three main playable characters – Sonic, Shadow and Silver – and several side characters that you will switch to during gameplay, and all of them suck in their own special little ways. Let’s start with Sonic, whose gameplay is probably the least terrible of the bunch.

Sonic plays similarly to how he did in the Sonic Adventure games. You run to the end of the level, collecting Rings and destroying Eggman’s robots with homing attacks. The difference is that this time Sonic is slow. Despicably, terribly, horribly slow. The only “fast” moments take place when Sonic is being propelled forward by dash pads. However, as I mentioned before, such moments control like crap…that is, when you CAN control Sonic. Sonic’s stages overuse fully scripted sequences to a ludicrous degree, possibly even more so than Sonic Heroes. These sequences don’t even serve any purpose beyond showing off the game’s motion blur effect; they’re still not very fast and they’re completely unspectacular. Sonic Adventure had some similar scripted sequences in its levels, but they were short, fast and looked awesome. Sonic 06’s scripted events are long, slow and boring. Therefore, it’s not okay. Sonic’s stages also feature on-rails sections called Mach Speed Zones where Sonic speeds up a bit, but they, like just about everything else in this game, are terrible. The difficulty is extremely cheap; Sonic loses every one of his Rings upon hitting an obstacle even once, and obstacles tend to come before you can even react to them. You also can’t stop Sonic or turn him around, meaning that if you miss the path forward or get stuck on a wall, you will die. Oh, and don’t forget that the game is generally broken.

The level designs of Sonic’s stages, outside of the Mach Speed Zones anyway, are the main reason why I consider him the least terrible out of the bunch. Of course, that’s not to say that they’re good. Like Sonic Heroes, the game relies on beat-em-up sections far too much, and they aren’t any good at all. See, Sonic 06 suffers from what I like to call “the Rayman 2 fallacy”, in which enemies take several hits to defeat, but combat is essentially just brainless, boring button mashing. Basically, all you have to do is mash the “A” button (or once you get the Bounce Bracelet, the “X” button) over and over again until an enemy is dead. Aside from that, level design is generally bland. While the levels do get points for being large with plenty of alternate routes, the game shoots itself in the foot by making the fastest pathways the most obvious and easiest to take and Sonic is all about getting to the end of the level as fast as possible. Platforming is also bland and blocky and lacks any semblance of challenge, but probably wouldn’t be much fun anyway thanks to a slow and floaty jump. Homing attack chains are also overused, and the homing attack also sucks now because Sonic takes a stupidly long time to recover from it, a decision which downright baffles me.



Oh, but it gets worse. After Sonic’s story, we have Silver’s story. Silver, like I mentioned earlier, has the power of psychokinesis. Though I’m pretty sure the correct term is telekinesis, that’s not what the game calls it, so whatever. Regardless, this translates to the gameplay by allowing Silver to pick up and carry huge objects with his mind and throw them at enemies, or even stun and then catch the enemies themselves. In concept, it’s actually not such a bad idea, but in execution, it’s absolutely insipid. The gameplay is unforgivably slow-paced and gets extremely repetitive and boring very quickly, amounting to nothing more than picking up objects and throwing them at enemies until said enemies are dead. Not to mention that levels can literally drag on for more than ten minutes and there’s hardly even any legitimate platforming, and what little it has is even easier than Sonic’s thanks to his hover ability. Even the primary gameplay mechanic is broken. Hit detection isn’t worth crap and the auto-aim is even more hit or miss than the guns in Shadow the Hedgehog. That’s saying a lot. Objects also tend to brush up against each other when you’re carrying them, meaning that often when you attempt to throw an object, it will just drop to the ground. Just...what?

But even Silver isn’t the worst of what this game has to offer. That would instead be Shadow, whose gameplay might just have you running back to his own revolting semi-spinoff. The gunplay is gone, but it has been replaced by “hand-to-hand combat”. By “hand-to-hand combat”, I mean more mindless button mashing. Shadow’s gameplay gives so much emphasis to the beat-em-up elements that they take priority over almost everything else, and that’s a big part of why his storyline is the worst. Oh, but that’s not the only reason! Shadow’s gameplay still has vehicle segments. However, while they were mostly optional in his self-titled game, in this game they’re mandatory. And they’re even worse, thanks to the fact that each of these vehicles controls like absolute garbage. He also runs even slower than Sonic and recovery time for the homing attack is even longer. Oh, and the homing attack has a much longer range, which results in plenty of cheap deaths when you attempt to use it to make your way across a small gap. Level designs even aside from beat-em-up sections are also horribly bland, even more so than Sonic’s, and, much like Silver’s, his levels drag on for far too long. It’s just…horrid.


Ah, yes, as if three horrible playable characters weren’t enough, there are six “Amigo” characters that you will occasionally switch to. Tails is the absolute slowest character in the game both on the ground and when flying and his only method of attack is a “dummy ring bomb”, for which the hit detection is terrible. The game is so broken that Knuckles and Rouge can hardly get off of walls, much less provide any sort of substantial gameplay experience. Amy’s hammer’s attack range and recovery time are so bad that you’ll probably get hit yourself long before you hit an enemy, and E-123 Omega opens the door to more wonderful button mashing. Blaze the Cat, though, is…actually probably the best-playing character in the game. She’s the fastest – not that that’s saying much – her homing attack has no recovery time whatsoever and she has a double jump. Of course, this being Sonic 06, she still plays like crap. Also, the areas designed around these “Amigo “characters are even more bland and boring than those designed for the main cast.

There are only two more things that deserve mentioning. Bosses in this game are a test of the limits of your patience rather than your skill. They consist of waiting for some chance to attack and repeating this process four times. There’s no challenge involved; merely much boredom and frustration, and some of these bosses take forever to kill. Special mention goes to Iblis Phase 2, which feels less like a boss fight and more like a horrible waiting game. Also, the hub worlds of the game are needlessly large expanses with absolutely nothing of value to do in them. Oh, sure, there are “Town Missions”, but they’re just as boring and frustrating as the rest of the game.

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To call Sonic 2006 a bad game is a severe understatement. Even when you don’t look at it as something that came out of a franchise as beloved as Sonic the Hedgehog, it is quite possibly one of the worst games ever made, period. When you do look at it that way, it’s an insult to the Sonic fanbase, an insult to the Xbox 360 and PS3 consoles, an insult to the gaming population and an insult to mankind as a whole. I doubt I have ever played a game quite as insipid, quite as disgusting, quite as all-around terrible as Sonic the Hedgehog 2006. I truly can’t compliment a single aspect of this game. Please, do yourself a favor and never touch this game. Ever.

So, now that I have finally given all of the bad mainstream Sonic games a proper beatdown, it’s time to move on and forget abominations like this ever existed. As of Sonic Generations, Sonic games are officially awesome again and a far cry from awful games like this. Sonic Colors and Generations are both great games and I would even say that Generations is in my top ten favorite games of all time. Let’s just be thankful things aren’t like this anymore, pray that they stay this way and look toward Sonic’s future with optimism. In the meantime, here’s a fitting song from Shadow the Hedgehog:




Yes, it's cheesy, yes, it's stupid, and yes, it's from a terrible game, but it fits perfectly.


Grade: F

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Kingdom Hearts 10th Anniversary Reviews: Kingdom Hearts II

-------My Rating System-------

A(-)(+) A top notch experience all the way through. It may not necessarily be perfect, but whatever flaws it does have won’t take you out of it or make it any less worth your time. (Super Mario Galaxy 1 and 2)

B(-)(+) A very fun experience bogged down by some significant problems, whether they’re related to the story, gameplay, or both. However, it’s still a good or even great game and worth the price of admission. (Kingdom Hearts: Recoded)

C(-)(+) A mixed bag. Generally fun to some extent and may shine in some areas, but is either too flawed to fully recommend or far too short for its price. Conisder it for a reduced price, at least if you’re a fan of its genre. (Rayman 3D)

D(-)(+) Subpar. It may not be terrible, but it is severely flawed and whatever it does well ultimately fails to save it. Even if you’re a fan of the genre, this is barely a bargain bin purchase. (Sonic Heroes)

F Insipid, disgusting, despicable, and insufferable. It is a scar on the face of human accomplishments that time shall never heal. The best thing we can do is avoid playing it at all costs. It is the only way to prevent its parasitic disease of awfulness from spreading. (Shadow the Hedgehog)

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And so the Kingdom Hearts 10th Anniversary extravaganza continues. Today, we will be covering the second main installment and third game overall: Kingdom Hearts II. Ah, yes, I have particular memories associated with this game, especially leading up to the release. See, back in 2003, I didn’t frequent the Internet and thus wasn’t immediately aware of what games were coming out and when. Thus, I had my mind thoroughly blown one morning when my father awoke me to watch an episode of X-Play that he had taped that showed a trailer for Kingdom Hearts II – this one, actually. I couldn’t believe my eyes – suddenly, I was seeing a new, awesome-looking city. There were new characters, including a spiky-haired dude with two Keyblades – I swear, I couldn’t get over that – as well as another spiky-haired dude with two chakras who appeared to be battling the other spiky-haired dude. There were also numerous black-cloaked folks, a weird masked dude, stretchy white guys that I was pretty sure weren’t Heartless (which Mickey Mouse awesomely annihilated) and an amazing-looking new boss. The game looked like something out of a dream to my 7-year-old eyes. It was strange and, well, awesome to see that all of these new characters and enemies would be showing up in the sequel to what was then one of my favorite games of all time. I was overcome with excitement as well as immense curiosity as to what role they would play in the storyline of this new game…that wouldn’t be coming out until 2005. Oh, excuse Square, they meant 2006. Being the impatient little brat I was, I was filled with rage alongside hype until I finally got the game as a late present for my tenth birthday. Fortunately, it lived up to my expectations and became one of my favorite games.

Here’s why it’s still one of them.

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(The below paragraph will contain spoilers for Chain of Memories.)

In Kingdom Hearts II, you begin not with Sora as you would expect, but with a new character named Roxas – he’s the guy with two Keyblades that I mentioned in the introduction. He’s just a normal teenager hanging out with his friends and trying to enjoy the last week of summer vacation, but unfortunately, things aren’t exactly going in his favor. He has dreams every night about Sora. He also seems to be the focus of a group of strange, white creatures who have started showing up regularly, a black-cloaked man named Axel and a girl named Namine, both returning characters from Chain of Memories. Roxas actually learns from Namine that these dreams are Sora’s memories, which Namine has had to put back to normal after changing them in Chain of Memories. This process has affected Roxas since he is actually a part of Sora and must rejoin with him so that he can become whole. This soon comes to pass and Sora wakes up to begin a new adventure. And this time, he’s not just going up against Heartless; there are now new enemies popping up known as “Nobodies”, which are the body and soul of one who has lost his/her heart. The lesser ones are commanded by the main villains, Organization XIII, many members of which actually appeared in Chain of Memories. On their way to strike down the Organization, Sora and friends find themselves once again caught up in the affairs of the various Disney worlds. Easily sidetracked, aren’t ya, Sora?

As usual, the storyline is fantastic. You’ll probably notice that Kingdom Hearts II is where the series’ continuity began to get quite convoluted, which some people don’t exactly care for. Personally, though, I actually appreciate the added complexity, finding that it makes the plot a lot more interesting, and everything else shines as well. The voice acting is superb and the characters are all really likable. This includes the new character Roxas, whose story is actually quite tragic and sad, and Axel is developed a lot more than he was in Chain of Memories, too. Oh, and the Organization are just as awesome as they were in Chain of Memories – even moreso, I’d say, if only for the fact that this game tells us exactly what they are and what they’re after. The writing does have a few more slip-ups than the original game, but not to the point that it’s worthy of complaint. Actually, for the most part, I found the writing rather good.


Aesthetically, Kingdom Hearts II fares pretty well. Graphically, it looks quite a bit better than its predecessor. Character models look smoother and the game makes use of more complex facial animations much more often than the first Kingdom Hearts. Simpler animations are still used, but mostly for side characters or for scenes where a character is far away from the screen. Environments also look better, and the soundtrack, once again composed by Yoko Shimomura with the vocal theme done by Utada Hikaru, is completely excellent. No more needs to be said.

So, with all that out of the way, let’s get into the gameplay. As in the first Kingdom Hearts, you’ll be spending most of the game exploring the Disney worlds and battling enemies with some rail-shooting segments on the side. We’ve got quite the variety of movies represented this time around, with some worlds returning and some being all-new. It is worth noting that, while some worlds do return, the experience will still be different as the layout is completely changed aside from a few landmarks, which is nice, and the storylines for the returning worlds generally follow the plots of the movies a bit more closely if they didn’t before. Anyway, returning, we have the worlds based on Aladdin, The Little Mermaid, The Nightmare before Christmas, Winnie the Pooh and Hercules – which is a good movie and I don’t care what any of you say. As for the new ones, we have Mulan (a personal favorite), Beauty and the Beast, Pirates of the Caribbean, Tron, and one of the most beloved of all, The Lion King. So yeah, be prepared. (Aren’t I so clever?)

Many of these worlds have little aspects that set them apart. Much of Mulan’s world, for instance, has you playing through missions in which you must keep the Morale gauge from fully dropping by picking up orbs dropped by enemies. The world based on Hercules once again features fighting tournaments – which are awesome – and the world based on The Lion King actually features Sora transforming into a lion himself, which completely changes his moveset. The Winnie the Pooh world, just like in the original game, is a kind of mediocre (and thankfully optional) mini-game world, and then we have the world based on The Little Mermaid. If you read my review of Kingdom Hearts I, you’ll know that I wasn’t quite fond of this world, to say the least. Well, in Kingdom Hearts II, it is…a rhythm game. Yes, in this world, there’s going to be a musical, and as such, you’re going to be playing music mini-games. I…never really cared too much for the songs of the movie myself – well, to be honest, I’m not much of a fan of Disney music in general, but that’s just me – and the songs they made for the game are just awful. I mean, “A musical for everyone to have a lot of finny fun”? Really? Not to mention that I can’t at all see how it fits into the storyline. “Hey guys! Let’s put saving the universe on hold to SING!” But eh, I guess the gameplay style is pretty inoffensive, and hey, it’s optional, so there’s really no reason to complain. It’s worth noting, by the way, that you will be going to each of the Disney worlds a second time. Each time, it continues the story that began in your last visit, and – I’m not kidding – it’s always at least twice as engaging as whatever direct-to-video cash-in that Disney threw together themselves.



Square: A black-cloaked guy with a cool name attempts to enrage the Beast so that he will turn into a Heartless.
Disney: Christmas and a villainous CGI pipe organ played by Tim Curry.


Square: Scar's ghost haunts the Pride Lands and Simba doubts himself as a king. Naturally leads to character development.
Disney: Romeo and Juliet. With lions.

Square: Jafar returns and Iago becomes a good guy.
Disney: Same as above, but with terrible writing, horrid animation and singing from Gilbert Gottfried.
As for how the game plays, it places the focus almost entirely on combat, unlike the first game. Platforming elements and exploration are still there, but aren’t nearly as emphasized. However, that’s not necessarily a bad thing, because the combat of Kingdom Hearts II is an absolute blast. It was already fun in the first game, but Kingdom Hearts II not only refines it, but makes it flashier, faster and a crapload more satisfying. Sora has become much more skillful with the Keyblade since the original game, giving him access to a ridiculous array of powerful Abilities as he levels up that are incredibly fun and satisfying to use, and combat in general is a lot faster and more fluid than before. While, again, it may come off as button mashing, it still isn’t shallow. You still have magic spells that you can use, and being limited in your Ability Points and the amount of items you can have equipped at once still add elements of customization and strategy. Oh yeah, and then there are the Reaction Commands. See, every now and then, you will be prompted to press the triangle button, which causes Sora to perform an action that may attack or daze an enemy or even let him use that enemy as a weapon. It works really well and it’s just another thing that makes combat that much more fun.


Oh, yes, and then there are the amazing Drive Forms. These actually gained a lot of prominence before the game’s release and for good reason: they are freaking awesome. Excuse me for regressing to a ten-year-old boy, but two out of those three Drive Forms let you use two Keyblades. At once. Mother of all that is good and holy, that’s awesome. Anyway, so aside from that, what are the benefits of these Drive Forms, you may be asking. Well, it sort of depends on which one you’re using. In Valor Form, Sora’s physical attacks become much stronger and much faster and he also gains a higher jump and some awesome finishers. However, this comes at the expense of being unable to use magic. Wisdom Form actually allows you to use the Keyblade as a gun, which is a bit weaker but allows you to use long-ranged attacks, and magic is much more powerful in this form. Master Form is the best one and you probably won’t use either of the others once you get it. It’s kind of like both forms combined, except better than both of them. Oh, and in Master Form, you can create a tornado that sucks nearby enemies in and causes them to take damage until they are finally thrown out and inevitably killed. The Drive Forms actually level up the more you use them, and some of the level-up bonuses are abilities that can be used to enhance Sora’s base form as well. Don’t expect to be able to use Drives all the time, though; the Drive gauge will constantly deplete as you use them and you will need at least three full bars of it to use Valor or Wisdom Form and four to use Master, so it’s not a game breaker. Regardless, the Drive Forms are a very fun addition to combat. Other additions to combat include a changed-up system for summoning as well as devastating Limit Breaks that consume all of Sora’s MP. I tend not to make much use of these, so I can’t really go in-depth on them, but I will say that they’re nice additions that some people may find worthwhile.

Oh, yes, one more thing: the rail-shooting Gummi Ship segments have been thoroughly improved since the last game. You are given a wider variety of weapons, they're faster-paced, there's more going on, and they're actually challenging this time around. Gummi Ship courses also offer extra missions now, and you can customize or even build your own Gummi Ship just like before. I still wouldn't quite say it's anything amazing, but it's pretty nice.

Kingdom Hearts II only has one problem, and that is the boss design. The first game’s bosses were actually really fun and even pretty challenging, but in this game, I couldn’t help but feel like most of them were pretty easy or even lackluster. The biggest offender, I’d say, is the battle with Jafar. For most of the battle, he just sits in one place and lets you bash on his head with some occasional weak or easy-to-avoid attacks. There are definitely some thoroughly enjoyable exceptions – I swear, the final boss of this game has to be one of the best ever – but, in general, I couldn’t help but find boss design to be a bit lacking.

The Good:

+ Fantastic storyline
+ Excellent voice acting
+ Awesome soundtrack
+ Several new worlds
+ Decent gameplay variety
+ Combat is amazingly fun
+ Drive Forms are a great addition
+ Gummi Ship has been improved a lot

The Bad:

- Boss design is generally a bit lacking

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Playing through Kingdom Hearts II again was a really fantastic experience. I’d honestly say that the game is almost perfect. It’s an absolutely excellent game that I would wholeheartedly recommend to anyone who enjoys RPG’s. Even if you’re not much of a Disney or Final Fantasy guy, there is a lot to love in this game. The next Kingdom Hearts game on the list is the first DS installment, 358/2 Days. See ya.


Grade: A